Fwd: This is Why We're in Trouble!

I know Mikey J is going to like these ...............

 

>> I have been a Travel Agent for thirty years. This is
> why we're in trouble! I had a New Hampshire
> Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair
> wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
>>
>>
> *********************************************************************
>>
>> I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted
> to go! to Capetown. I started to explain the length of
> the flight and the passport information, then she
> interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look
> stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
>>
>> Without trying to make her look like the stupid one,
> I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,
> Capetown is in Africa,"Her response (click).
>>
>> * ***************
>>
>> A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a
> Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with
> the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
> ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
> possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
> He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and
> Florida is a very thin state!"
>>
>>
>> ******************
>>
>> I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is
> it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No."
> She said, "But they look so close on the map."
>>
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and
> asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled
> up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour
> layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to
> rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big
> airport, and we will need a car to drive between the
> gates to save time."
>>
>>
>> ************************
>>
>> An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She
> needed to know how it was possible that her flight
> from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at
> 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour
> ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the
> concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane
> went very fast, and she bought that!
>>
>>
>> ************************
>>
>> A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines
> put your physical description on your bag so they know
> whose luggage belongs to whom?"
>>
>> I said, "No, why do you ask?"
>>
>> She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the
> airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT),
> and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude?"
>>
>> After putting her on hold for a minute while I
> 'looked into it' ( I was actually laughing) I came
> back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is
>> (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a
> destination tag on her luggage.
>>
>>
>> ************************
>>
>> A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip
> package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info,
> she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California
> and then take the train to Hawaii?"
>>
>>
>> **********************
>>
>> I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman
> who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I
> asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
> "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these
> darn planes have numbers on them."
>>
>>
>> **********************
>>
>> A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to
> Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those
> little computer planes?" I asked if she meant, fly to
> Pensacola, Florida on a commuter plane. She said,
> "Yeah, whatever!"
>>
>>
>> **********************************
>>
>> A senior Senator called and had a question about the
> documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a
> lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him
> that he needed a visa.
>>
>> "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and
> never had to have one of those." I double checked and
> sure enough, his stay required a visa.
>>
>> When I told him this he said, "Look, I'v! e been to
> China four times and every time they have accepted my
> American Express!"
>>
>>
>> **********************
>>
>> A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make
> reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New
> York."
>>
>> The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the
> agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the
> town?"
>>
>> " Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
> After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm
> sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the
> country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
>>
>> The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone
> knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured
> a map of the state of New York and finally
> offered,"You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
>>
>> "That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.
>>
>>
>> Now you know why Government is in the shape that
> it's
>
>
>
>
>
> ____________________________________________________
> Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page
> http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs
>
>
>

>> I have been a Travel Agent for thirty years. This is
> why we're in trouble! I had a New Hampshire
> Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair
> wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
>>
>>
> *********************************************************************
>>
>> I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted
> to go! to Capetown. I started to explain the length of
> the flight and the passport information, then she
> interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look
> stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
>>
>> Without trying to make her look like the stupid one,
> I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,
> Capetown is in Africa,"Her response (click).
>>
>> * ***************
>>
>> A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a
> Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with
> the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
> ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
> possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
> He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and
> Florida is a very thin state!"
>>
>>
>> ******************
>>
>> I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is
> it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No."
> She said, "But they look so close on the map."
>>
>>
>> ******************************
>>
>> An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and
> asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled
> up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour
> layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to
> rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big
> airport, and we will need a car to drive between the
> gates to save time."
>>
>>
>> ************************
>>
>> An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She
> needed to know how it was possible that her flight
> from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at
> 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour
> ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the
> concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane
> went very fast, and she bought that!
>>
>>
>> ************************
>>
>> A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines
> put your physical description on your bag so they know
> whose luggage belongs to whom?"
>>
>> I said, "No, why do you ask?"
>>
>> She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the
> airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT),
> and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude?"
>>
>> After putting her on hold for a minute while I
> 'looked into it' ( I was actually laughing) I came
> back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is
>> (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a
> destination tag on her luggage.
>>
>>
>> ************************
>>
>> A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip
> package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info,
> she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California
> and then take the train to Hawaii?"
>>
>>
>> **********************
>>
>> I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman
> who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I
> asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
> "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these
> darn planes have numbers on them."
>>
>>
>> **********************
>>
>> A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to
> Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those
> little computer planes?" I asked if she meant, fly to
> Pensacola, Florida on a commuter plane. She said,
> "Yeah, whatever!"
>>
>>
>> **********************************
>>
>> A senior Senator called and had a question about the
> documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a
> lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him
> that he needed a visa.
>>
>> "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and
> never had to have one of those." I double checked and
> sure enough, his stay required a visa.
>>
>> When I told him this he said, "Look, I'v! e been to
> China four times and every time they have accepted my
> American Express!"
>>
>>
>> **********************
>>
>> A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make
> reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New
> York."
>>
>> The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the
> agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the
> town?"
>>
>> " Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
> After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm
> sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the
> country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
>>
>> The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone
> knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured
> a map of the state of New York and finally
> offered,"You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
>>
>> "That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.
>>
>>
>> Now you know why Government is in the shape that
> it's
>
>

----- End forwarded message -----