Fwd: Southern Girls

SOUTHERN GIRLS
Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of
insult just
as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or" Bless his heart".
As in,
"bless his heart, if they put his brain
on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane highway"

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new
transplanted northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning
to talk
and he has a southern accent. My friend, who
is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers,
was
justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to the
South a
couple of years ago. Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is
going to
be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."

Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless
their
hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships, and their recipes for
authentic
Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you
can't find
good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like
cornbread!

We've already lost too much. I was raised to say "swanee," not swear, but you
hardly ever
hear anyone say that anymore, I swanee you don't. And I've caught myself
thinking twice
before saying something is "right much," "right close," or "right good" because
non-natives think this is right funny indeed.

I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to
"carry" my
daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time
I am
"fixin'" to do something. And, bless their
hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!

My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can't help being
ugly,
but she could've stayed home."

Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February
4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day

Southern girls always say:
1. "Yes, ma'am."
2. "Yes, sir."

Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
1. "Y'all come back now, ya heaah."
2. "Well, bless your heart."
3. "Drop by when you can."
4. "How's your mama?"
5. "Love your hair."

Southern girls know their three R's:
1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest

Southern girls know everybody's first name:
1. Honey
2. Darlin'
3. Shugah

Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
1. "Gone With the Wind"
2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
4. "Steel Magnolias"

Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
1. Hotlanta or Adlanna (Atlanta as outsiders say)
2. Richmon
3. Challston
4. S'vannah
5. Birminham
6. Nawlins'
7. Oh! and that city in Alabama ? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY!

Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates

G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised in The South!

Now you run along, Shugah, and send this to someone else Raised In The South,
i.e.,
Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS. Even the northern ones,
"Bless
Their Hearts".

That Reminds me. I have a rubber stamp that says "Just because your children
were born in
the South does not make them Southerners. After all, if a cat had kittens in the
oven,
that wouldn't make them biscuits."