burning calories

It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now
nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual
activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to
present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................................12 Calories
Without her consent...............................2187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands......................................8 Calories
With one hand.......................................12 Calories
With your teeth....................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection.....................................6 Calories
Without an erection...............................3315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary..........................................12 Calories
69 lying down.......................................78 Calories
69 standing up.....................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow........................................216 Calories
Doggy Style........................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier................................2912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real...............................................112 Calories
Fake..............................................1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................................18 Calories
Getting up immediately..............................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..........816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years.........................................36 Calories
30-39 years.........................................80 Calories
40-49 years........................................124 Calories
50-59 years.......................................1972 Calories
60-69 years.......................................7916 Calories
70 and over...........................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly..............................................32 Calories
In a hurry..........................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door..............5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.............13,521 Calories

Results may vary.