Fwd: (SENILITY )

bottomMargin=7 leftMargin=7 topMargin=7 rightMargin=7>face=Arial color=#000000 size=2>

SENILITY

A nurse walks into a bank, preparing to
endorse a check. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer
and tries to write with it.   She looks up at the teller, pauses for a
moment, then realizing her mistake, she says, "Well that's great......just
great.....Some ass hole's got my pen."

***************

Reporters
interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?" the reporter asked.   She simply replied, "No peer
pressure."

************

The nice thing about being senile is you
can hide your own Easter eggs.

************

Just before the
funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
"How old was your husband?"   "98," she replied. "Two years older than
I."  "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth
going home is it?"

***********

I've sure gotten old. I've had 2
By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40
different medications that  make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands
and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my
friends.  But.....face=Arial color=#000000 size=5 BACK="#ffffff" PTSIZE="18"
FAMILY="SANSSERIF">Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license! And they
can't take it away from me!! HA! HA!style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff" face=Arial color=#000000 size=4 BACK="#ffffff"
PTSIZE="14" FAMILY="SANSSERIF">

************

A 97 year old man
goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."


"Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is
all in your head?"

"You're damned right it is!" replied the old man.
"That's why I want it lowered!"

************

An elderly woman
from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will. She told her Rabbi she had two final
requests.  First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her
ashes scattered over Walmart.    "Walmart??" the rabbi exclaimed.
"Why Walmart?"    "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice
a week."

SENILITY

A nurse walks into a bank, preparing to endorse a check. She reaches into
her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to write with it. She
looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then realizing her mistake, she
says, "Well that's great......just great.....Some ass hole's got my pen."

***************

Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the
best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No
peer pressure."

************

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

************

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly
widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years
older than I." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded,
"Hardly worth going home is it?"

***********

I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new
knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me
dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor
circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or
92. Have lost all my friends. But.....Thank God, I still have my Florida
driver's license! And they can't take it away from me!! HA! HA!

************

A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my
sex drive lowered."

"Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all
in your head?"

"You're damned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it
lowered!"

************

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will. She told her
Rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and
second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Walmart. "Walmart??" the rabbi
exclaimed. "Why Walmart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a
week."

----- End forwarded message -----