Fwd: Outsourcing, anyone?? WHAT an idea!

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Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of
America will be outsourced to overseas interests as of December 31st. The move
is being made to save not only a significant portion of the President's
$400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a record $521 billion in deficit
expenditures and related overhead. "We believe this is a wise move financially.
The cost savings should be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds
(R-Wash.). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accountability Office, has
studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively."We cannot expect to remain
competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds
noted.
Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for
the job move have been underway for some time. Gurvinder Singh of Indus
Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the office of President as of
January 1st. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents
were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position.
He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or
other benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without support staff. Due to the time difference between the
US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US
Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the
American Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am
excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President some day."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware
of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a
problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond
effectively to most topics of concern. Using this tree, he can address common
concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all. "We know
these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "Mr. Bush has used them
successfully for years."

Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day
of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for
$240 dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be
eligible for Medicaid as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed
limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the out placement services of Manpower, Inc. to help
him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to
Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to
limited practical work experience. One possibility is re-enlistment in the Air
National Guard. Should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in
Iraq,a country he has visited. "I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated
Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the
Baghdad Airport's terminal and gift shop.Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr.
Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be
provided with details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate
welcome.

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