Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Fwd: How horses enrich our lives





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Our
lives with horses are rich with feeling. You know this if you've
ever...

…choked back tears watching a new foal wobble to his feet for the first
time

...or watched your good horse wobble to his feet after
surgery

...or seen the ends of the reins float straight out as a reining
horse spins beneath them

...or chuckled to yourself as you watched a tiny
tot on a patient pony trot through a barrel


pattern at a saddle club playday

...or felt the building tremble as an
eight-up hitch of feather-legged giants towed a


hand-carved beer wagon into the arena

...or had your heart stop when
you saw your horse lying motionless in the pasture on a


sunny day and waited breathlessly for an ear to flick

...or cheered at
the screen when "The Man From Snowy River" slid Dennie down the


mountainside,

…or when Seabiscuit made his final surge to beat War
Admiral

...or cruised along the highway and seen a horse in a pasture and
wondered what he's


like to ride or pictured him as a prospect

...or sucked in your breath
as a horse and rider approached a six-foot wall

...or sworn a solemn oath
to your horse that together you would triumph

...or flipped through the
TV channels and stopped when you saw a horse even when


it was a commercial

...or laughed aloud when you rubbed your horse's
face and he rubbed back

...or gotten chills hearing Dave Johnson's "and
DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME!"


(or "Run for the Roses" circa 1980 ish?)

...or stood in awe at your
horse in morning play as he sprinted around the pasture, then


stopped, head erect, and snorted defiance at the rest of the
world

...or been thankful to see wild horses grazing casually at the foot
of a hill

...or felt calmed by the sleekness of a silky haircoat beneath
your hand

...or felt your jaw drop as you watched a Lipazzan perform a
capriole

...or if you've ever seen someone in the grocery store wearing a
certain kind of hat, or


boots, or buckle, or have a certain cut and length to their jeans, and felt
some remote


kind of connection

...or felt warmed by a soft nicker greeting as you
entered the barn

...or slid your hand under your horse's blanket to
straighten it out, only to pause in the


glowing feeling that you get when you touch the warmth of his coat.


...or riding on a trail with your horse, thinking how that trail over there
looks nice and


almost without asking, your horse has sensed your slightest movement in the
saddle


and he's now taking you there.

...or pulled up to your barn where you
board and only your horse greets you with a


welcoming hello from the sound of your car or your voice.

... if
you've ever been moved by any of these feelings, I hope you enjoyed the time
you


spent reading this. If you choose, please forward this to your horse friends.


Our lives with horses are rich with feeling. You know this if you've ever...

…choked back tears watching a new foal wobble to his feet for the first time

...or watched your good horse wobble to his feet after surgery

...or seen the ends of the reins float straight out as a reining horse spins
beneath them

...or chuckled to yourself as you watched a tiny tot on a patient pony trot
through a barrel
pattern at a saddle club playday

...or felt the building tremble as an eight-up hitch of feather-legged
giants towed a
hand-carved beer wagon into the arena

...or had your heart stop when you saw your horse lying motionless in the
pasture on a
sunny day and waited breathlessly for an ear to flick

...or cheered at the screen when "The Man From Snowy River" slid Dennie down
the
mountainside,

…or when Seabiscuit made his final surge to beat War Admiral

...or cruised along the highway and seen a horse in a pasture and wondered
what he's
like to ride or pictured him as a prospect

...or sucked in your breath as a horse and rider approached a six-foot wall

...or sworn a solemn oath to your horse that together you would triumph

...or flipped through the TV channels and stopped when you saw a horse even
when
it was a commercial

...or laughed aloud when you rubbed your horse's face and he rubbed back

...or gotten chills hearing Dave Johnson's "and DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME!"

(or "Run for the Roses" circa 1980 ish?)

...or stood in awe at your horse in morning play as he sprinted around the
pasture, then
stopped, head erect, and snorted defiance at the rest of the world

...or been thankful to see wild horses grazing casually at the foot of a hill

...or felt calmed by the sleekness of a silky haircoat beneath your hand

...or felt your jaw drop as you watched a Lipazzan perform a capriole

...or if you've ever seen someone in the grocery store wearing a certain
kind of hat, or
boots, or buckle, or have a certain cut and length to their jeans, and felt
some remote
kind of connection

...or felt warmed by a soft nicker greeting as you entered the barn

...or slid your hand under your horse's blanket to straighten it out, only
to pause in the
glowing feeling that you get when you touch the warmth of his coat.
...or riding on a trail with your horse, thinking how that trail over there
looks nice and
almost without asking, your horse has sensed your slightest movement in the
saddle
and he's now taking you there.

...or pulled up to your barn where you board and only your horse greets you
with a
welcoming hello from the sound of your car or your voice.

... if you've ever been moved by any of these feelings, I hope you enjoyed
the time you
spent reading this. If you choose, please forward this to your horse friends.

----- End forwarded message -----

Fwd: [exiles] Batmans greatest Boner


Soo many good boners...but this is the greatest

Real comic from the 1950's

http://www.redshirt.co.uk/media/batman/

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Fwd: HOW DID YOU BREAK YOUR ARM??

HOW DID YOU BREAK YOUR ARM??

Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the
slopes as written by a New Orleans paper:

A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the kind of
story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart.

Conditions were perfect...12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness
all over...the "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.

One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire
need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was
relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for
female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go
away. If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know
that a temperature of 12 below doesn't help matters. With time running
out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity
of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit,
she should go off in the woods and no one would even notice. He assured her,
"The white will provide more than adequate camouflage." So she headed for
the tree line, began lowering her ski pants and proceeded to do her thing.

If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a
right way and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move. Yup, you got
it!!! She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not
forgiving...even during the most embarrassing moments. Without warning, the
woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the
trees...somehow missing all of them and onto another slope. Her derriere
and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her knees, and
she was picking up speed all the while. She continued backwards, totally
out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the other skiers. The woman
skied back under the lift and finally collided violently with a pylon.

The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski
pants. At long last her husband arrived, putting an end to her nudie show,
then summoned the ski patrol. They transported her to a hospital. While in
the emergency room, a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed
next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.

It was the stupidest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this ski
lift and suddenly, I couldn't believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman
skiing backward, out-of-control, down the mountain, with her bare bottom
hanging out of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out
of the lift."

"So, how'd you break your arm?"

----- End forwarded message -----