Fwd: they are so bad you have to laugh

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise".
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly
and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams
back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the
lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and
demands an explanation.
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
"Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery
day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."
The mother replied "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them
up."
The daughter did and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My hands are
freezing cold."
The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm
them up."
He did and warmed his hands. The following day the boyfriend was again in the
buggy with the daughter.
He said, "My nose is cold."
The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it
up."
He did and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and he said, "My
penis is frozen solid."
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she
says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"
Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies, "They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't
they?"

----- End forwarded message -----