Fwd: Jokes

----- Forwarded message

The high school coaches went to a coaches' retreat. To save money they had
to share rooms. No one wanted to room with Coach Daryl because he snored so
loudly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the
whole time, so they voted to take turns. Ernie slept with Daryl the first
night and came to breakfast next morning with his hair a mess, eyes all
bloodshot.

The others asked, "Man, what happened to you?"

He said, "Man, that Daryl snored so loud, I watched him all night."

The next night it was Jeff's turn. In the morning, same thing - hair all
standing up, eyes all bloodshot. The others wondered, "Man, what happened
to you? You look awful!"

He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly
ex-football-player-looking type of man's man. Next morning, he came to
breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning."

They couldn't believe it! They queried, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and
kissed him good night. He watched me all night long."

*** *** ***

Friendship among women:
A woman doesn't come home at night. The next day she tells her husband she
slept over at a friends' house. The man calls his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them know about it.

Friendship among men:
A man doesn't come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he slept
over at a friends' house. The woman calls her husbands' 10 best friends. 8
of them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there.

----- End forwarded message -----

Fwd: PUBLIC SERVICE WARNING

----- Forwarded message

No vaccine yet. possibly by 2008.

Subject: PUBLIC SERVICE WARNING

The Disease Control Center has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of
Sexually Transmitted Disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and
high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna
reelect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for
the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from
this especially troublesome disease.
Symptoms of Gonorrhea Lectim include, but not limited to: Anti-social
personality disorder, grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic
mangling of the English language; inability to incorporate new information;
pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions;
exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial
smirking; ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating
evangelical theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical,
all-or-nothing behavior. The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and
epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated
only a few years ago from a Texas Bush.
----- End of
warning message

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----- End forwarded message -----