Fw: Speedos

This one's kind of funny.

 

-------------- Forwarded Message: --------------
From: "Billie Gates" <waltandbillie@msn.com>
Cc: "Anna Stevenson" <annamstevenson@hotmail.com>, "Bob Johnson" <cashmeout2004@hotmail.com>, "cj1252" <cj1252@comcast.net>, "clydeburks" <clydeburks@comcast.net>, "Eva McIntire" <evamcintire@comcast.net>, "harry kelley" <hawk5@mchsi.com>, "hata2dl8y" <hata2dl8y@juno.com>, "Jim Muckridge" <jrmak@gci.net>, "John Smith" <satchel64@comcast.net>, "judyandbree" <judyandbree@comcast.net>, "margaret kennedy" <MARGANN@peoplepc.com>, "Mildred Gallegos" <mildredgallegos@yahoo.com>, "Ron & Ina" <rnindhs@netzero.net>
Subject: Fw: Speedos
Date: Sun, 17 Jul 2005 21:30:52 +0000

 

Subject: Fw: Speedos

 

Ole and Sven, were holidaying on the beach in Australia while on vacation, and Sven couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. He decided to ask the local lifeguard for some advice.

"Mate, it's obvious," said the lifeguard. "You're wearing them old baggy Minnesota style swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer.  They're years outta style.  Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em.  I'm tellin' ya man...you'll have all the babes ya want!"

The following day, Sven hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato.   Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!  

Ole went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "Vat's wrong now? Sven still isn't picking up babes."

"JAHEESUS!" said the lifeguard., "Mate, the potato goes in FRONT!"

---

Subject: Fw: Speedos

Ole and Sven, were holidaying on the beach in Australia while on vacation, and
Sven couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. He decided to ask the
local lifeguard for some advice.
"Mate, it's obvious," said the lifeguard. "You're wearing them old baggy
Minnesota style swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're
years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about
two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin'
ya man...you'll have all the babes ya want!"
The following day, Sven hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and
his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by,
covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!
Ole went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "Vat's wrong now? Sven still
isn't picking up babes."
"JAHEESUS!" said the lifeguard., "Mate, the potato goes in FRONT!"

----- End forwarded message -----

Fw: The Job Applicant

Hay Mahan,You two should give serious consideration to the idea of coming for a visit.I'll send you home with knowledge that will make you the kind of money that dreams are made of.Hay where's our stories from the mountain?I'm realy starting to miss thouse thing's.

 

-------------- Forwarded Message: --------------
From: "Billie Gates" <waltandbillie@msn.com>
Cc: "Bob Johnson" <cashmeout2004@hotmail.com>, "Cecilia & Leroy" <Lecekas@cybertrails.com>, "cj1252" <cj1252@comcast.net>, "clydeburks" <clydeburks@comcast.net>, "durhamjo" <durhamjo@wmni.net>, "Eva McIntire" <evamcintire@comcast.net>, "harry kelley" <hawk5@mchsi.com>, "hata2dl8y" <hata2dl8y@juno.com>, "John Smith" <satchel64@comcast.net>, "judyandbree" <judyandbree@comcast.net>, "margaret kennedy" <MARGANN@peoplepc.com>, "Mildred Gallegos" <mildredgallegos@yahoo.com>, "Ron & Ina" <rnindhs@netzero.net>
Subject: Fw: The Job Applicant
Date: Sun, 17 Jul 2005 21:28:46 +0000

 

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery.   A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager.   Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions.   The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Yankee the job."   Bubba asked: "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me being a Southern boy, I should get the job!"   The manager said: "We've made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the one question that you both missed."   Bubba then asked: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"   The manager replied: "Bubba, it's like this. On question #4 the Yankee put down; 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'"

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery.

A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same
qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions.

The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest, but we've
decided to give the Yankee the job."

Bubba asked: "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions
correct. This being Louisiana, and me being a Southern boy, I should get the
job!"

The manager said: "We've made our decision not on the correct answers, but
rather on the one question that you both missed."

Bubba then asked: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the
other?"

The manager replied: "Bubba, it's like this. On question #4 the Yankee put down;
'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'"

----- End forwarded message -----

Fwd: to smile at

A lesson to be learned from one typing the wrong email address! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to  coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expectin g messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: October 16, 2004 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.  P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!

----- Forwarded message from -----------

A lesson to be learned from one typing the wrong email address! A Minneapolis
couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.
They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20
years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate
their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on
Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into
the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to
his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address,
and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in
Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a
minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow
decided to check her email expectin g messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son
rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer
screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: October 16, 2004 I know you're
surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to
send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I
see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking
forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!

----- End forwarded message -----